


full moon's glow

by critocrisisM, x_olotl



Series: We Have Our Fantasies [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Demon Hanzo Shimada, Demon Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Oni Genji Shimada, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Snippets, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Werecree, Werewolf Jesse McCree, Witch Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, also i multiship jesse fite me, archangel jack, boogeyman mccree, but he doesnt know that, enchanted armor pharah, eventually resolved tensions, human lucio, kinda late for the hype but eh, oblivious Jesse, oni hanzo, wholesome mchanzo, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-07-29 11:38:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16263437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/critocrisisM/pseuds/critocrisisM, https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_olotl/pseuds/x_olotl
Summary: They were both pieces of a bigger picture- smaller pieces- but it's them against the world.





	1. Summoning

**Author's Note:**

> I know I still have another mchanzo fic waiting to be updated but 
> 
> enjoy this instead
> 
> pls leave a comment im a thirsty whore for comments

Jesse Mccree is a simple man-  _werewolf-_ but he's sly and witty, despite what his ridiculous appearances may show. He's clever and likes to think he's kind. He knows what he's doing, but  _what in the fuck is he doing in another student's room?_

He was standing in the middle of the room. The last he remembered, he was tailing Gabriel around the halls- the usual, much to the magister's chagrin and in the blink of an eye, he's in another student's room. He looked around. The scent had a hint of familiarity with it, but he couldn't quite place  _where_ he had scented this. Maybe he walked past the resident one time and forgot about it. He didn't know. He huffed in frustration and took a better look around. The room was dark, but his eyes immediately adjusted. There was the common bed, placed in the corner of the cement brick wall. There was an altar by the window, which was covered by the curtain. There was also a large mirror against the left wall. Across it is a door where he guessed the bathroom is since Jesse noticed that there was light inside. Great. The resident is with him. He whined unconsciously and looked at his feet. He decided he'll stay in his spot and explain to the resident once they come out. However, his eyes didn't miss the markings on the floor beneath him.

"Is this... a summoning circle?" He murmured to himself and froze when he heard a sharp intake of breath from the bathroom. Jesse cowered slightly and fixed his whiskey brown eyes on the door. His ears twitched when they picked up the muffled sounds of feet scurrying over tiled floors. Jesse swore he also heard nails. Jesse scented the air again. It was still the same smell- chamomile tea, incense smoke, and  _lavender._ Before Jesse could predict it, the door opened and by the doorway stood a tall demon. The tank top and boxers barely spared the grey skin and the intricate red tattoo on the demon's left arm and half his chest. Two long horns protruded from the demon's forehead, followed by two short ones in the midst of the short, spiky black hair. Two horns also protruded from the demon's jaws and despite the creature's white eyes, Jesse can feel the intense gaze on him. Ah, so an  _oni. Wait, is this-?_

The demon snarled at him and Jesse's first instinct was to jolt up and back away. 

"Woah, hey there, partner-"  
  
 _"What_ _are you doing here?"_

"Hell, I wish I knew!" Jesse took rapid steps backward when the demon began to stride at him furiously. He held his hands up in defense, his ears faltering in the slightest. Whoever this person is, he didn't want any sort of trouble.

_"How did you get in here?"_ Jesse shivered as the demon hissed violently. Up close, the werewolf found out that the demon was a few inches taller than he is. The demon was in his full form, of course, he would be. Jesse let out a huff as he felt his back hit the wall and he pressed himself as close to it as he possibly can, hands still up and his eyes looking everywhere but the demon.

"Look, I don't how and why I got here! I was walkin' with Gabe and next thing I knew I- I'm here! On that summonin' circle o' yers! Did ya summon me?" Jesse said. He felt the demon's glare soften but he can still feel its intensity. Still, it was enough for Jesse to muster up the courage to look up at the other. He found the demon not glaring, but assessing him, silently. A hand rested on the demon's chin, propped up by his other arm and a thoughtful expression on his face.

"That spell was supposed to summon the nearest dark spirits. If you were indeed what it presented, then that means- strange. This is very strange. You are a werewolf." Jesse heard the demon mutter to himself. He let out another whine and jolted away when the demon leaned a few centimeters closer to scent him and look him over. He felt the scrutinizing gaze on his skin like hot fire. And surprisingly the good one. He felt his neck and ears flush up in embarrassment. The demon must have noticed this as well, as he put several feet of distance between them immediately. Jesse heard the demon clear his throat.

"I apologize for the inconvenience. Perhaps there was something wrong with the spell. You may go now and forget about this. Let me know if there is a way for me to make up for this." He said and Jesse saw the demon bow from the corner of his eye. Jesse rubbed the back of his neck and let out a small chuckle before nodding slowly.

"Naw, no need. I just- er, I kinda randomly teleport here and there without really knowin' why and how, so I guess it just happened and this was all just a coincidence? Anyway, forget about it, it ain't trouble." He said and he now took his time to properly look at the demon. He looked... familiar. 

"Anyway, I'll go now an' you can continue doin' whatever you were doin'. Goodnight, uh, stranger." And after an awkward tip of an invisible hat, Jesse hurried out of the demon's room, and once again he felt white eyes on his back as he went. 

As the door closed, Hanzo remained to stare at the wood for several more minutes before he collapsed into a crouch on the floor, arms folded closely over his knees and face buried in his arms. His face felt hot all over and a shaky, taloned hand reached for his bed to grab his phone lying on it. He sent a quick text to his brother.

 

>

**Hanzo:** _Genji. My dorm. Now._


	2. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo's too scared to make a move so Genji does it for him.

_"It's on my desk, you can't miss it."_

Genji sighed heavily in frustration as he barged inside Hanzo's room. He was so fucking late, he's gonna get killed for it. Reyes is not gonna be happy. Hanzo gets to go to his class with miss-hell-screech  _on time_ and Genji doesn't? Un-fucking-fair. He scoffed in annoyance as he started to rummage around his brother's belongings. He can let Hanzo fuss about his things not being the right place, at least, but even that isn't enough to make up for whatever Reyes has in store for his irresponsibility.

"Irresponsibility, my ass. More like, 'Hanzo's too paranoid about anyone finding his secret stash of nudes in his phone so he gets his brother to fetch it'. What an asshole." Genji grumbled. It was true, however. His brother looks good and the bastard is aware of it. Today was not a very good day for Genji, however. He missed breakfast with Lucio, and now he's gonna get punished for Hanzo's fault. The oni approached his brother's desk and sighed at the mess on the surface, which was also, strangely, organized tidily. He spotted his brother's phone immediately and Genji swiftly snatched it off the table. However, he paused upon seeing the open screen. Now,  _this_ is too rare of an opportunity to pass up. He eyed the screen in front of him and found that it was left on a new message screen, with the recipient being an unsaved number. Genji looked behind him hurriedly before looking at the phone again. He eyed the number, trying to remember why it seemed so familiar.

...

_Ah!_

Genji grinned from ear to ear. It was Jesse's number. How in the hell his brother got his number without even talking to him was a mystery, but he doesn't care. This is a great chance. Hanzo was going to message Jesse but was either too dumb, stuck or was running late to even type anything. Probably the first two. The oni let out a giggle. 

"You will suffer for your mistakes, anija." Genji murmured before he opened the gallery icon in the empty inbox.

-

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-" Jesse panted as he sprinted down the hallways hurriedly. He had his book under his arm, his eyes rapidly scanning every sign on each door, just to make sure he didn't miss his classroom already. And in his haste and lack of attention, he didn't give himself enough time to prepare for the incoming impact as he hit another body. Or a wall. He didn't know. He did stumble back, however, and landed on his behind. It hurt. He let out a sharp gasp and a groan, rubbing his face that hit the wall of  _pure muscle._ It also hurt.   
  
"Shit, shit- I'm so fuckin' sorry, I-" Jesse paused after picking up his book and looking up at who the fuck he collided with. It turns out it's the demon he met two weeks ago. The demon was in his sealed state, looking more human, and shorter than Jesse currently is. The navy blue turtleneck hugged the demon's torso quite snugly, hiding the tattoo he saw that night, the black dress pants the demon paired with his top also showed off the other's hips. He immediately averted his eyes once Jesse realized he'd been staring. He felt the tips of his ears flush hotly and he hurried to stand up. 

"I- I also apologize, I was- I wasn't looking-" Hanzo stammered profusely as he stood up as well and dusted his trousers.

"Anyway, what're you doin' out here? Aren't classes starting already?" Jesse asked and Hanzo sighed. 

"Yes, I am aware. However, I am currently waiting for my brother. I asked him to... fetch my phone since I forgot it." The demon said, his face grimacing at the realization that it sounded so childish and irresponsible. Still, he remained standing still. However, he perked up when he heard Jesse's phone emit a faint 'ding!' and the werewolf hurried to check who would message him this early, and when he's running late for class. As Jesse saw the notification from an unknown number, he heard Hanzo speak up and Jesse looked up from his phone to look back at the demon. 

"Genji! What took you so long?!" Hanzo fussed furiously as Jesse saw the demon snatch the phone from Genji's hand. 

Wait.

_Genji? Brother?_

"Are you... Genji's brother? The one he's been talkin' about last year? Hanzo, was it?" Jesse asked and he saw Hanzo's shoulders tense up and Jesse got dizzy from seeing at how fast the other turned around to look at him. Genji was silently standing beside Hanzo, a face-splitting grin plastered on his face. Hanzo regained composure faster than Jesse could when sober. However, Genji jumped him first before Hanzo could have a chance to speak back.

"Yes, this is my brother Hanzo! Hanzo, this is my best friend, Jesse! I'd love for you two to get a proper introduction but we're all running late and Reyes is gonna kick our fucking asses, so, Jesse, let's go." Genji said and he unceremoniously grabbed Jesse's arm. Hanzo's lips parted as he prepared himself for telling off his brother, but he just sighed in defeat and dragged himself back to O'Deorain's class. He had already been scolded once, he can't handle the second one.

-

Jesse sighed noisily out of relief. The day was over, and after another hectic day of bookwork, practicals, writing and teachers droning on and on and on, Jesse wants nothing more but to collapse on his bed and sleep. He didn't even know why he's in this magic school, he's just a werewolf with a deadly eye, really. But well, here he is. He didn't even get to have lunch, since he found out they had homework on alchemy that no one told him about.  _Fucking traitors._ Reyes's punishment had been really unnecessary but the demon went ahead and had him and Genji run laps in the school field. It had been a good exercise for Jesse until the thirty-sixth lap. Genji collapsed at twenty-five. And now, his legs have been sore the whole day and he's limping like he'd been fucked eleven way to Sunday. He just wanted to sleep for the whole weekend. Thankfully, it was a Friday. 

Jesse's lamenting paused as he suddenly remembered the random message he received earlier this morning.

And Genji's brother.

_Hanzo._

How come he didn't know his best friend's brother was beyond him. Either the older demon wasn't interested or he wasn't interested. Jesse sighed solemnly to himself as he entered his dorm building. Hanzo was definitely attractive, there was no denying that. However, Jesse couldn't mistake the scent of danger that lingered in the demon's skin and boy, does he love danger. Jesse can see the shape of Hanzo's biceps from underneath his wool turtleneck, and Jesse was certain Hanzo could choke him and he would thank him for it.

He shook his thoughts away upon arriving in front of his room. He let out a grunt as he unlocked the door and used his body weight to push it open. He's so tired and his sore legs are gonna give in any second. After closing the door, he dragged himself to his bed and plopped on top of it. His hand found the phone in his pocket, finally deciding he'll satisfy his curiosity before he passed out for a day and a half. He unlocked his phone and opened the message from the unknown number. He realised he received a couple of new ones recently after class as well.

>

**Unknown number:** _oh my god oh my god oh my god, im sorry i didnt do this i swear. it was my brother, im so sorry, please just ignore this and delete this whole inbox if you can_

**Unknown number:** _this is so embarrassing im so sorry_ _  
_

**Unknown number:** _im gonna fucking kill him_

_>_

Jesse raised a brow in suspicion. Deciding to ignore the warning, Jesse scrolled past the message and back to the earlier ones and found himself looking at several stolen photos of Hanzo Shimada, exercising or working out, or just naked in general. Some had been taken by the demon himself and Jesse found himself staring at each one in disbelief. Hanzo knew which parts of him looked good and isn't shy about it. Jesse immediately turned off his phone after and covered himself with a blanket. His eyes looked up at the ceiling and stared. Slowly but surely, his face reddened and he covered his face with both hands. A long weekend indeed.

 

 


	3. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training with the werewolf escalated quickly into disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written while procrastinating on an art piece. Probably gonna be shitty
> 
> still, enjoy!

"Yer late, Shimada," Hanzo heard Jesse say as soon as he entered the practice range and the demon stopped himself from scoffing. He'd only made friends with the werewolf recently, and despite the other assuring him that his 'dry sense of humor' is appreciated, Hanzo was still anxious. He has never been really good at making friends, especially with those he is desperately pining after. Still, he can manage, with given time and patience from his friend. And when push comes to shove, Hanzo is a great friend, trustworthy and reliable. One can rely on one Hanzo Shimada for needed advice, even beneath the snark and sarcasm. Bonds are ones he truly cherishes, and very few ever got the privilege. An example was Satya Vaswani, the goddess of crafts. Sure, they started off at a weird spot due to their, well,  _origins_ , but as they bonded, their boundaries melted and interacted as if one wasn't a demon, and one wasn't a deity. And Hanzo knew he wanted the same bond with Jesse, just... Hanzo knew his own troubles will hinder their progress. And his friendship with Jesse was still currently fragile.

Or he was just _very_ paranoid.

"I apologize. I had to replace my bowstring immediately, as Genji stopped me in the hallway insisting that I do his grocery. He pulled on my bowstring and it snapped." Hanzo sighed and to his slight surprise, Jesse let out a chuckle full of mirth and the demon's white eyes found the werewolf.

"Guess that didn't end up well for him, huh?" The demon found himself returning the smile and slowly nodded. "Well, don't just stand there! You were, er, ten minutes late an' I'm pretty sure someones oughta join us soon." And with that, Jesse picked up Peacekeeper that Hanzo noticed was laying on top of a table, and returned to his spot earlier. Hanzo moved away from the doorway, closed the door and took a spot a few feet away from the werewolf. He found himself quickly stealing a glance of the werewolf from the corner of his eyes before the other finished loading Peacekeeper with bullets.

"Let's have a competition. First to sixty bullseyes win. Whaddya say, partner?" Jesse inquired with a lopsided grin on his face, a hand raised to offer Hanzo a handshake. Hanzo allowed himself to let loose and smirk down at the werewolf.   
  
"It will be the biggest mistake you will ever make. I accept your challenge." Hanzo said as he looked at Jesse's hand and firmly gripped it, relishing the brief moment of warmth against his ice cold skin before they both pulled away and prepared their stances. During the several practice, chase hunts Reinhardt had them do, They were often partnered up knowing that they work best together. They were a dangerous combination, deadly and precise with their aims, both willing to cooperate and moving in a continuous flow that lasted until their target had been caught. It was as if they knew each other from the inside out, despite it being actually the opposite. They only know each on the first name basis, and that one of them is their best friend's brother, and that they're their brother's best friend. And that each other can shoot. Jesse remembered what Gabe had once said when he asked him about Jack: 'I guess it just happens; when you've found the right person to watch your back at all times.'

And as much of a deadly duo they make, they were equally intense, competitive rivals. Ever since they mutually, silently agreed that they have become friends and started to train, they started to compete. At first, it was an unspoken competition, to show off to one another on who could be the better shot, until Jesse broke that tense silence and brought up the competition. They've been doing it ever since. And with it being rare that they even get to visit the practice range at all makes the little competitions even more intense. Still, Hanzo looked forward to it. Hanzo loves the adrenaline, the challenge, and the good company. Even if it is a loud, boisterous werewolf. 

So as their competition escalates quickly from sixty to eighty to a hundred-ten, Hanzo began to feel the strain. The dummies, manipulated by magic, were quickly adapting to both of their patterns and bullet/arrow drops. And the more the dummies adapted, the more the both of them began to find it harder and harder to get a new tally. They should have ended at sixty like they agreed. But they can't go back now. Hanzo released a heavy sigh involuntarily, the first sign of his exhaustion and he watched the arrow soar through the air and pierce the head of a dummy. He quickly added one to his mental tally, but before he could announce it, he realized he had won. That was the last shot he needed and he didn't even realize it. And no way was he going to raise the bars again.

"I win. That was my a hundred and tenth headshot." He said proudly, slowly relaxing his sore arms at his sides and standing tall. Jesse let out a groan as he, too, relaxed his arms and rolled his shoulders. Hanzo let his proud grin stay on his face while he leaned his bow and quiver against the railing. The arrows he left in the simulation dissipated in thin, blue smoke with a single snap of his fingers. He heard Jesse whistle.

"Looks like you won this time, partner. Yer a real good shot." To say Hanzo didn't relish in the praise was a lie. He let his proud grin shine brightly as he looked back at Jesse. "But I fear I may 'ave fed your ego way too much already." Jesse grinned in triumph when he witnessed Hanzo's grin falter into a small frown. The werewolf let out a bright chuckle and Hanzo's frown softened very slightly at the sound. He looked away before Jesse could notice or say anything about it.

"Thank you, Jesse. Your aim is also excellent, but perhaps a little more control would be needed with your shooting hand. I would be willing to help you train if you are willing."

"Well, wouldn't you know it? I would suggest a first date and dinner first, but if you insist, darlin'." The sharp elbow to his ribs was worth seeing the demon's face flush brightly in embarrassment and Jesse couldn't help but laugh in delight. He wrapped an arm around his torso afterward and Jesse's laughter died when he saw Hanzo hurriedly strap the quiver across his chest and sling his bow on his other shoulder next. 

"Hey now, I was just kiddin'," Jesse said through a small smile while Hanzo walked past him. Jesse tried to walk backward and block him to get him to pause but didn't predict the moment the archer sped up his pace and accidentally crashed against Jesse. Though it was still much softer than the first time they collided, Jesse still felt a slight sting to his face. In an attempt to recover both their footing hastily, their legs tangled with each other and both nearly collapsed. Jesse quickly grabbed the edge of the nearby table but Hanzo had not been fortunate enough to find any leverage. And in a desperate attempt to find balance, Hanzo's hand found the hem of Jesse's trousers and the clothing went down as Hanzo did. It took them a moment to realize what had transpired and in no time, Hanzo was scurrying up but paused halfway at the snap of a shutter. Jesse and Hanzo's eyes lock in horror. They both look at the doorway and found the animal spirit Hana and elf Brigitte standing by the doorway. Upon realizing they have noticed their presence, Brigitte let out a loud, nervous chuckle before grabbing her girlfriend by the neck and stammering. The poor girl's face was beet red.

"I- uh- ahah- er- I'm- we're- we didn't- we didn't mean to- youknowwhatwe'lljustgoandforgetaboutthisbye!" And the woman left, dragging a widely grinning spirit in her wake, whose nose was already buried in the unmistakable phone. Hanzo dropped back down to his knees, eyes staring dumbfoundedly at the door while Jesse silently and awkwardly pulled his pants up.

"I guess we're gonna die now."

\--

**_Hana posted a new photo_ **

****

**_> comments_ **

**Genji:** _oh my god it's about time_

 **Lucio:** _hana you dont post pictures of people doing... this!_

 **Satya:**   _blackmail material._

 **Hanzo:** _satya no this was an accident_

 **Genji:** _you dont trip and accidentally suck someones dick brother_

 **Hana:** _ahahahahah rip han_

 **Angela:** _seriously right in front of my salad?????????????_ _  
_

**Hanzo:** _i hate you all_

 **Jesse:** _it was an accident put this down or i'll holler country music at your doors at 3 am_

 **Hana:** _try me bitch_

 **Hana:** _oh no_

 **Hana:** _it's still eleven pm jesse pls stop_

 **Genji:**   _how much yall wanna bet he'll holler hanzo's name instead at 3 am_

**Hanzo:** _dont come near my fucking room for the next week because i will fucking murder you_

**Jesse:** _hanzo swears???????????????????????_

**Jesse:** _hot ;)_

**Gabriel:** _k  
_

_> **this post is no longer available**_

_**\--** _

_**Totally Not Sombra posted a photo.** _

 

_**> comments** _

**Jesse:** _ok listen here you little bitch_

 **Sombra:**   _:P_


	4. Warm Bodies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only the stars know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally some substance

Jesse woke up in cold sweat, panting heavily and he sat up to try and alleviate the pressure in his lungs. He moved his left hand to clench his chest but the sudden jolt of a phantom pain reminded him that no, he did not have that arm.  _Not anymore._ He let a sob leave his lips but no tears came. They couldn't. He's lost the ability to cry a long time ago, a long time ago when the world was against him and he had to  _survive._ He felt the phantom pain shot up once more and Jesse forcibly locked the thoughts away in the back of his min. He was hot and sweating, he needed something cold right now. And so, Jesse forced himself to sit up and begrudgingly put on his prosthetics and after half-decently dressing himself up, he left his dorm room and made a beeline for the shared kitchen. Maybe someone left alcohol in the fridge or something. He really needed something cold,  _badly._ There was a heat in him, a painful kind, that wouldn't subside without remedy. 

Jesse entered the kitchen and it was dark and barren, as is expected from the current hour and he opened one of the nightlights on the wall, to provide him just enough luminescence to make sure he doesn't stab someone in the dark. And in the dim light, Jesse immediately spotted the fridge and rushed towards it. He swung it open and much to his misfortune, there was nothing but orange juice, milk, leftovers, and fresh ingredients. The werewolf sighed in agony, though the temperature of the fridge did soothe his ache for a bit. But it was not enough.

_It's never enough._

"Jesse?" The werewolf jumped up in alarm and turned around, snarling with all teeth. However, he stilled when he found Hanzo, hair disheveled as if he had been tossing restlessly around in bed-

 _Or banging someone the other night,_ Jesse thought bitterly-

And in his sealed state. The archer's dark eyes avert to the fridge for a second then to the gourd he had in hand before he looked back at Jesse.

"Can't sleep?" 

 

And that's how Jesse found himself sitting inside the open-roof greenhouse in the academy's gardens. The building was filled with delicate plants, vines and flowers and fruit-bearing alike. And in the middle of it all was a white bench and a worktable nearby. The tool shed was outside. And Hanzo sat beside him, still like a corpse and quiet as a mouse. Jesse could have thought the demon beside him had actually died if it weren't for the slow, steady rise and fall of the archer's chest, from beneath his loose sweatshirt. Hanzo invited him to this place, to have a drink, and now he actually has alcohol in his hands. However, it wasn't  _cold._ Still, he can't refuse alcohol and the sake was good. Hanzo was definitely a man of certain tastes if his whole persona already didn't scream it at Jesse's face. But still, Jesse ached and he wanted comfort. The night air was cold, he can feel it, but it wasn't enough. Jesse wiped a stray sweat sweltering on his forehead before stealing a glance at Hanzo and was surprised to find him looking already. Jesse jumped slightly, eyes going wide in surprise.

"You're sweating," Hanzo said quietly, his voice soft and fragile, as if afraid to break the delicacy of the clear night. "Are you sick? Do you need a doctor?" Hanzo asked, his eyebrows furrowing further in worry. Jesse decided he didn't want Hanzo worried, he didn't like the look of it. Jesse only sighed and looked away, shaking his head.

"Nah, darlin', I just... need to- er- get cold an' I'll be fine," Jesse gave Hanzo a smile that the demon clearly didn't buy. The archer stared at Jesse thoughtfully for a moment.

"The night is cold."

"I know, just- it ain't- it ain't enough-" Jesse sighed in defeat. "I hate these kinda nights, when I'd- I'd wake up from a nightmare and all of a sudden I feel like hell's burnin' me, like it's makin' me atone for just... existin'. Remindin' me o' my sins when I don't need it. And it just hurts. So bad." He sighed again and set his cup down on his knee. He shivered when he felt Hanzo's cold fingers brush against his as the archer takes the cup away and sets it beside him.

"There are things we regret that we had no control over. Give it time, Jesse, and it will... heal. I know it is difficult to leave behind your past, but once you have released the burden it has on you, you will... Feel light. And free. I know your struggles, werewolf, and I know them intimately, so trust me when I say this: you are not alone." Hanzo said before he moved the gourd and two cups on the floor of the greenhouse. He scooted to the far end of the bench, leaned his back on one armrest and put one foot up on the seat. He tucked it behind the little space between Jesse and the backrest and surprisingly, the archer held out his arms open. "I will help you. Come, if you are so  _hot_ , then I hope I am cold enough to satiate the ache. Jesse stared at Hanzo in disbelief. He felt warmth staining his cheeks and he immediately wiped them away. He averted his eyes, contemplated, before a nudge from a knee on his back snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I will not ask again, Jesse." Hanzo repeated, now with a slight edge to his tone but it still did not cross the 'humoring' line. Jesse decided there's nothing to lose and he'll indulge both him and Hanzo. He shifted to a comfortable spot and laid carefully on top of the demon's torso and as if a switch has been flipped, the fire inside him died and Jesse let out a pleased sigh. It was as if he was  _relieved,_ released of his  _burdens_ and he felt light, and free. The archer's arms were wrapped comfortably around Jesse's shoulders and the werewolf hugged the archer's torso. Jesse decided this felt nice. That he wanted more of this. And Jesse didn't want to sleep. He believed that if he fell asleep and woke up, the spell of the dream would break and he would be back in his room,  _burning._ Jesse wants more of this. Call him greedy, this sense of comfort was hard to come by. The sense of safety, the feeling, and realization that Jesse doesn't have to constantly look over his shoulder to make sure no one would stab him in the back.

Because here was Hanzo, keeping him still and safe in his arms, and he felt the lull of sleep singing in his ears and Jesse couldn't help but sigh in bliss and just  _melt._

"You can come to me whenever you are in  _pain._ I will come and help, no matter what." Jesse heard Hanzo murmur softly before his world turned dark and he was engulfed in a deep, dreamless sleep. This will be something only Jesse will be privy to and he felt  _glad,_ somewhat. They would be wide awake before anyone else comes here in the morning, and they could just spend those first few hours of sunlight, like this, dancing between the lines of being good friends and potentially something  _more._ But Jesse wouldn't ask about it, not yet. Maybe when they have bonded a little more. Jesse knew that tonight and the morning after will be something delicate, something that the werewolf doesn't want to break.

And they both made a silent agreement, with the stars as a witness, that nobody would discover their secret.


	5. Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When his friends disappear for two months without explaining why, Jesse began to suffer.

"Gabe  _please,_ just tell me-"  
  
"I told you already, a hundred times, that I don't know."  
  
"You're as bad at lying as I am and _I know_ you know something!"  
  
"Then _know_ that I'm not allowed to say it, you mutt!" Gabriel snapped harshly at the werewolf, finally running out of patience from the shifter's consistent begging to just  _know._ Still, despite his misplaced anger, he didn't miss the sharp gasp that left Jesse's face and Gabriel recounted his words to know where he had gone wrong. It wasn't easy to miss. The demon cursed himself and stopped walking. He turned to look back at Jesse to apologise, but the werewolf was already gone. Gabriel sighed heavily and decided he will leave the werewolf to dwell on himself. Gabriel will seek him out and apologise when the chance arrives.

 

* * *

 

 

The Shimadas have been gone for two months. Nobody had been warned, and not even Athena could trace where they had gone, and how they managed to slip under her watchful eyes. Jesse had tried asking everyone Hanzo and Genji could have possibly known, especially those he thought knew something. Gabriel, Satya, Lucio and Amelie were the few. Gabriel obviously didn't want to talk about it and wouldn't say anything, Satya downright stared him down but kept quiet, Lucio only sighed and shrugged and Amelie simply ignored him. It seems that everyone important in the brothers' lives had been informed and wouldn't tell anyone. Everyone important, except Jesse. Jesse was Genji's best friend, and Hanzo's only friend the demon confessed he can pour himself out to. Hanzo only had two friends the demon deemed his priorities; Satya and Jesse. And the fact that Jesse hadn't been told what the  _fuck_ was going on absolutely hurt him. 

Over the past few months they've been friends, Jesse had begun to like Hanzo, but it was nothing new. It started when they first properly introduced themselves, but Jesse guessed he just kept denying the feelings until it got overwhelming. And now it hurt, so bad, that Jesse can't help but worry about where Hanzo had run off to. Jesse wanted to run after him, sniff him out and trace him, find him and give him a slap for disappearing without a word. Jesse tried to understand that whatever happened must have been important, but he couldn't come up with a reason why. Ever since Hanzo disappeared, the nightmares slowly began to come back and the painful surges of heat began to feel like he's being melted to the bone. Like an incineration. Like  _hell._  

Jesse would guiltily admit he attempted to the demon that he would teleport himself to Hanzo's room during nights when they were just  _unbearable_ cave himself in there for hours. And it would be enough. At least enough for him to be able to sleep away the pain. Let the demon fuss over Jesse's scent all over the bedroom, he broke their promise and Jesse's hurting. Still, Jesse knew that when it came to it, Jesse would forgive Hanzo over and over again, no matter what he'd done. But for now, Jesse let himself be angry. If Hanzo wants forgiveness, he can make up for it by just being here, making Jesse's pain go away. 

\----

"Where the hell is that kid?" Gabriel murmured to himself as he walked down the empty hallways with a candle in his hand. It had been two months since the brothers went away and Jesse had been a wreck. He barely came to class and all his friends are worried about him. One of them came to Gabriel, and certainly one he didn't expect. Satya Vaswani, the goddess of craft, was not a common sight in the academy but during the occasional visits she made, she would always seek out Hanzo. Gabriel guessed they already knew each other even before the demon came to the academy, but when she came to him, she worried for Jesse. Gabriel was willing to bet that it was a message from Hanzo. Jesse and Hanzo had been inseparable ever since they became friends. They were a force to be reckoned with.

And no matter how hard Jesse pleads, Gabriel will not tell him anything because he knew absolutely  _nothing._ And he wanted to check on Jesse and clarify it. To make things right. Ever since the werewolf came to the academy, he began to tail him, immediately becoming the magister's shadow without even being offered. And over the past three years Jesse had with Gabriel, Gabriel had been attached to the werewolf as if it was his own kid, though he would be as subtle with it as best as he can. The disappearance of a certain archangel still made attachment to people difficult. 

Gabriel realised Jesse might have been grieving the same way he did all those years ago, and even now he resents it. Wonders where he went wrong. _If it was his fault._

The magister halted in front of the door of Hanzo's room and felt the pull of the tracking spell from inside. The same tracking spell that wouldn't find Genji and Hanzo. Gabriel remembered Lucio and if the man knew anything. He should ask later, but for now...

\----

Jesse stirred awake when he heard the creak of the door open. It took him time to regain his sense, the pain still being there and hazing his mind. Once he regained his bearings, he remembered he was in Hanzo's room and that Hanzo was gone. He let out faint whine and nuzzled himself further the pillows smelling so nicely of chamomile and lavender. He was conscious, but his eyes remained closed. As he was about to sleep away the heat again, he heard the door silently close and his ears immediately perked up. He immediately moved to sit upright and looked towards the door. He can hear his heart thumping in his chest, but disappointment crashed against him in waves when he saw it was Gabriel, not who he was hoping for.

Jesse furrowed his eyebrows slightly, before falling back onto the bed. The magister was in sleeping clothes. It was the middle of the night, after all.

"Am I welcome here?" Jesse heard the demon ask. 

"Even if I say no, you wouldn't be leaving."

"You're right."

"What're you here for?" Jesse asked, sitting up again and looking back at Gabriel. The demon resigned on setting his candle on top of a table and sitting on a chair nearby. 

"Look, kid, people are worried about you-" the demon paused when he noticed the way Jesse squinted at him. "I'm worried about you, and so do others. I get that you... miss your friends, but I'm sure the others do to. But for whatever reason the brothers left immediately for, it was important. Important enough for them to leave on a whim and not tell anyone-"

"'m pretty sure they told you-

"They didn't. And if they had, I wouldn't be here." Gabriel snapped at him but quickly regained himself. It was not what he was here for. Jesse bit his lip and resorted to looking down at his lap. Gabriel gave him a long look before the demon sighed and stood up to move to the bed. He sat himself down beside Jesse. "I'm sorry. For earlier and just now. I'm just worried, too. Two good students go missing without a trace? Everyone in the staff is alarmed, and are on edge. But if it's any consolation to you, Satya came to me this afternoon to ask me to check on your well-being. I thought first it was strange that she would ask about you, but then I remembered he's friends with Satya." Jesse looked up at him hopefully. Gabriel's heart ached, wishing silently to have the same amount of hope- the hope that his archangel will return.

"You don't think-"

"I  _think_ the Shimada was asking about you. And if Satya knows where he is, and isn't alarmed, then he's safe. He'll come back, kid."

That night, Jesse slept with Gabriel keeping him company. It did not ammend Jesse's pain. but knowing that someone he trusts as a father figure is with him was enough to make up for it.

 

* * *

 

 

Both the Shimadas returned two weeks after their second month of absence. They appeared one morning slipping into normalcy of things as if nothing had ever happened. Everyone they knew dreaded asking the inevitable question, even the teachers.

_What happened?_

Jesse didn't know of their return until it was at the end of the day. He didn't have any classes with Hanzo and Genji on Mondays, and his friends didn't talk about it. In fact, he didn't even see them either. The werewolf only found out when he dragged himself back to Hanzo's room, aching badly to rest and sleep off the burn in his bones, slowly eating him away. Except the moment he opened the doors, Hanzo was standing by the bed, the blanket held up to his nose by a hand. The demon didn't even flinch when Jesse let out a yelp at the scene. All he heard was a sigh before Hanzo fixed the bed again and sat on its edge. Jesse only stared at him, both in shock and pure rage. And once he recovered, Jesse stormed in the room, slamming the door closed behind him and made a beeline for Hanzo. The impact of his fist against the demon's cheek hurt his knuckles, but he didn't care. Not right now.

 _"Where the **fuck** have you been?" _Jesse hissed and he heard Hanzo suck in a sharp breath before cupping his now aching cheek. Jesse watched him stretch his jaw in impatience and Jesse pulled the demon up from his collar.  _"Answer me, Han!"_

"I deserved that," Hanzo muttered silently and so closely against Jesse's face that the shifter had to do a double take. "And more."

"Don't avoid the question."

"I'm not avoiding it, simply stalling it."

"Same difference."

"But it's working." Jesse fell silent as he watched Hanzo smile guiltily and apologetically. There's something in those dark eyes he couldn't place.  _Remorse._ He slowly released Hanzo's collar and the man gracefully plants both feet on the ground once more. Jesse took a step away but Hanzo's hand on his arm stopped him. And Jesse felt the pain subside, but only for a bit. And it was not enough. 

"I am very sorry for not telling you why I had to leave. No one ever knew, except Satya. But... it was a safety precaution we had to take. Neither Genji and I liked the idea, but after discovering that our clan is tracking us down once more, we had no choice. We could not risk the people we care about, especially this academy. If they found us here, who knows what the clan will do. My brother and I almost agreed to never return, but we knew we simply could not disappear forever. It would hurt Lucio, it would hurt our friends, it would hurt  _you._ However, if the clan starts hunting us down once again, Genji and I agreed that we will leave for good."

Jesse stared silently at Hanzo, slowly sinking in the explanation provided to him while repeating it in his head.  _Clan? Tracking?_ Jesse was at a loss. Not once have they discussed about Hanzo's family before. He thought about bringing it up once or twice, but the fact that Hanzo never made mention of it made Jesse all the more hesitant. And now he knew why the demon didn't utter a single word about it. Hanzo and Genji came from a clan. A clan of what, exactly? Hanzo must have read Jesse's face of shock and confusion since he averted his dark eyes and looked down at his feet.

"The Shimada clan is a yakuza clan. My father is the Oyabun, and I was the heir. Ever since my father's "death", Genji and I ran away. We both knew the vacant role was not good for any of us. It has never been, especially for our father." Jesse blinked and slowly, he nodded, also looking away. He was taken aback, however, when Hanzo returned to his previous seat on the bed. The brothers only disappeared because they wanted to protect everything that mattered to them, to save them from their clans' wrath. If the clan found the brothers, only the brothers would be found, not the ones who helped hiding them. And if they had indeed found them, Jesse knew he wouldn't be seeing them ever again.

Jesse looked down at Hanzo and immediately knelt in front of him.

"I don't wanna lose ya, Han. I got a taste already and I don't like it. If that clan o' yers managed to track y'all down again, Hellhound's got yer back." Jesse said and he didn't miss at how Hanzo's grim expression faded into amusement and a cold hand rested on top of Jesse's head. The werewolf flashed him a bright grin, accepting that as a positive answer before climbing on top of Hanzo and tackling him to his bed. He received a series of grunts and huffs from the other as they both immediately relaxed on the sheets.

"Jesse- Jesse, can you please let me change clothes first?"  
  
"No. You've been gone for too long and I've been  _burnin'_ ever since." There was a dead silence between them, and it was slightly tense. Hanzo was the first to break it.

"You don't mean that," he said in a low voice, something predatory lingering in his tone. Jesse slightly lifted his head just enough to glance back at Hanzo below him. He then grinned smugly.

"I do mean it."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut follow-up maybe???


	6. New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo was a flight risk with a fear of falling. He was confronted thrice, and answered once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> assjneljafnljdcs im sick again but have this shitty 3+1 that slowly became not a 3+1 im sorr y
> 
> i also do these chapters on a whim pls do a forgiv
> 
> enjoy

"So,  _you_ 're meaning to tell  _me_ that Jesse stayed in  _your_ room for  _two weeks_ and  _nothing_ happened?" Genji asked skeptically, titanium chopsticks held loosely in one hand while the other held up the ramen bowl, one of the personal items they brought from Japan. Hanzo let out a groan and rolled his eyes though Genji could not see it. He was by the stove, the big cauldron pot left to cool while Hanzo poured his own serving of ramen. It was eleven in the night, way too late to be having a meal, but it was such a common occurrence to the brothers that nobody's surprised anymore. Maybe Angela or Lucio would chastise their health every now and then, but that was it. They both have other things to worry about other than two guys eating at a late hour.

" _Yes_ , but that's not the point now listen-"

" ** _No, no, no, no, no._** _No. I will not listen to someone who will not confess to the person that's been giving them affection and boners for the past six months, especially when this person slept in this someone's room **forcibly** and is just ready to give up the world for them._   _You are dumb,_ anija," Genji said, setting down his bowl and chopsticks on the counter stubbornly while Hanzo glares down at him, eyes squinted and posture posing a threat. 

"I don't know how this is related to the fact that  _I might consider getting a pet_ _._ " Hanzo's glare hardened on Genji, a big sign for him to shut up, while the younger brother struggled to keep his facade any longer. The archer's glare got intense and Genji huffed in defeat, picking his bowl back up again and beginning to eat. Hanzo hummed in satisfaction before covering the cauldron with its flat lid and leaning against the counter beside Genji to eat his own food.

"I will confess when the opportunity arrives. Jesse was still upset during those two weeks, so it was not a very good situation then to bring it up. He would think I am tricking his feelings into forgiving me, it would be... an unpleasant scenario," Hanzo said finally and Genji grumbled. After wolfing down the chasu pieces floating in the soup, he sets down his bowl and utensils and placed a hand on top of Hanzo's shoulders.

"You're a good person, anija. You cooked food for Lucio when he was sick, at three am, and didn't even know his first name," Genji started and he could feel Hanzo roll his eyes so high. "So I will help you. I will force upon a situation that will get the both of you to confess, finally."

"No. I will do it when I wish to. Though, I appreciate the offer, it would not be needed." Genji remained pouting, growing more and more impatient, for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

"To say I am surprised with your amount of self-restrain is an understatement, Hanzo," Satya mentioned out of the blue while her delicate fingers cradle the clay teacup. Hanzo stared at her, confused as to what could have possibly brought up this statement since they have been sitting in silence for fifteen minutes now. Hanzo opted to visit Satya's temple for half of the weekend upon the deity's request for afternoon tea. And now, here he is, apparently being chastised for his 'self-restrain', of all things. He only blinked the strangeness of the situation away and shook his head.

"I do not know what you are talking about." He said before proceeding to have a sip of his own chamomile tea as well, brew courtesy of Satya. The lady preferred her tea honeyed and mixed with citrus fruits to truly bring out the flavors, while Hanzo preferred to keep his blend plain. Sometimes, cream will be added but only on rare occassions.

"It is strange that you have lasted as long as you had without either running away from your feelings or acting on it. It is almsot seven months now and still, you've done nothing." Satya said with amusement as she sets down her cup, moving with grace. The lotuses that sits on her dress shifts as she too, moves to face Hanzo on the rug they share. "This gunslinging werewolf must really be affecting you if you are so uncharacteristic as such. We've known each other for years and you have always ran away whenever your pining lasted for... three months. It was the longest, I believe."

"I do not see where this topic came from, we have literally been sitting quietly for fifteen minutes."

"True, but I have been thinking. And I find your dilemma amusing. Though I heavily judge your tastes, he is good for you. Do you not want lay a risk and find out if you do have the right to hope?"

"I do not hope for _anything_ , Satya. Let us leave this topic, I came today to enjoy your company, not dread it."

Satya sighed through her nose before apologising quietly and continuing to drink in silence.

* * *

 

"Stubborn," Hanzo raised his head. He looked across their desk to stare at Amelie who looked back at him with a piercing stare. He mentally shivered and straightened up. Still, he kept his composure, cleaned up their table of any scattered papers by collecting each in one pile and setting it to his left. 

"What is it now?" Hanzo asked as he wiped his fountain quill clean and kept away the spare bottle of ink he took out in hopes he'll be able to do something productive today. It turns out, with Amelie's sudden inquisition, it will not be possible. He already knew what was to come, it has already happened twice, it was bound to happen again.

"You are stubborn," she repeated, though with a nonchalant voice and Hanzo rolled his eyes. He removed his reading glasses, meticulously puts it back in its black velvet case and sets it on top of the rest of his stationary. 

"Tell me something I don't know, Amelie," he said with a sigh as he leaned back against the chair, one leg crossed over the other and folded hands resting on a knee.

"Jesse likes you." Amelie said, her matte black lips crawling in a sly smile upon seeing her friend tense up rigidly. Hanzo stared at her in silence, eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed as if offended. Amelie frowned, sighed and prepared herself to apologise when Hanzo spoke up again.

"It does not matter whether we like each other or not, I will stay true to my words- I am not interested in intimate relationships. Jesse is a good friend, nothing more. How much more do I have to imply this?" Hanzo said in frustration before he began to hurriedly gather his things and before Amelie could properly react, the demon had already gone, leaving her alone in the library desk. She watched the doorway her friend had gone off to and pursed her lips in thought. Not once had Hanzo ever walked out on anyone, interrupted their conversation so rudely. She knew Hanzo must have done it at one point, but not in public. Hanzo always made sure to maintain a polite profile, even if struggling to keep it sometimes. Even in uncomfortable situations, the demon was always polite, except when it is just him and his circle of friends. But when unfamiliar people are around, it would be as if a flip would be switched and a trained kumicho would be with them instead of their friend.

And seeing Hanzo so rudely interrupt their conversation with many ears and eyes prying, Amelie felt slightly bothered. Her golden eyes scanned the room, and just in time caught the flutter of a bright, red coat before it disappeared in one of the faraway doors.

* * *

 

"First, my brother then Satya and now Amelie? Unbelievable. Who's next?" Hanzo hissed violently to himself, letting himself flinch at hearing his words echo from the narrow stairway leading up to the rooftop garden. He discovered it when he joined the academy, with it being the first places he would immediately go to whenever he needed a breather, when socialising became too much and he would also come here to hyperventilate, to let himself pour his feelings out to the beautiful flowers surrounding him. There were all flowers of different kinds; seasonal, poisonous, herbal and decorative. They were all maintained by a magic that was beginning to waver when Hanzo first found it but ever since then, he'd been manually taking care of it. It was his therapy. Even now, he would still come up here every night and morning, to take care of flowers that he forgot to take care of the other day. And he would hide here for hours, if not days. 

This was also the place Hanzo brought Jesse to, when they first had slept together, when Hanzo had first  _helped_ Jesse, took care of Jesse, as if he was one of the many many plants. 

And so he came here, to soothe his ache. To make himself remember that they were just friends, and nothing. It could not be possible, Hanzo thought to himself. Jesse is just very clingy and often sought affection. It was normal for a werewolf, and Hanzo would not be a good friend if he denies his friend's nature.

"Hello again, you beautiful things," Hanzo murmured in relief once he reached the rooftop, immediately relishing the smell of fresh grass and fragrant flowers all over the greenhouse. He slowly closed the white, transparent door behind him to prevent harming the plants inside. As he moved to lock it, he noticed a figure running up the stairs, the shadow the visitor casted on the wall of the stairway being a dead giveaway. Hanzo didn't miss the flurry of a coat and two, triangular ears and Hanzo hurried to lock the gate. Only now did he resent the original owner's paranoia and caution, for the door had  _way_ too many locks.

"Han, open up." Jesse said in a pant outside the door once the werewolf arrived at the doorstep. Hanzo was just about to click the last lock in place. Hanzo stared at Jesse, something unreadable firmly in the archer's dark eyes. Jesse realised it was determination to keep Jesse locked out of the greenhouse and he immediately began to find the ladder. Hanzo locked the door finally and walked to one of the shelves underneath the open roof windows. He grabbed the other ladder in the greenhouse, unfolded it and began his climb. Once reaching the top, Hanzo grabbed the handle of the window but was stopped by Jesse's hand on his wrist. In the blink of an eye, Jesse was beginning to push himself through the window while keeping Hanzo in place. The demon began to panic. 

"Jesse."

"Han, catch me, okay?"

"No, Jesse, this is-"

"I won't let you fall alone, we fall together."

"Jesse!"

"We're gonna have a talk when I get inside-"

" _Jesse!_ " Before the werewolf could stop to think about what had made his friend so angry, his whole body slipped through the gap and he screambled to find footing upon landing. To which he did. Except he knew he fucked up when he felt stems and moist soil under his palms. Jesse looked down at his hands slowly, dreading at what he might see. He knew Hanzo loved every single plant in this sanctuary, and how carefully Hanzo took care of each one. Jesse would volunteer every now and then, but Jesse would sit at the bench, watch the demon work throughout the garden during the first few hours of light before they eventually had to depart for their rooms and prepare for the day. These plants were Hanzo's  _passion._ And Jesse may have just crushed them.

Jesse's breath staggered when he saw it was the patch of full-grown moonflowers. Hanzo waited for them to bloom for  _weeks._ They sat on the bench, every night, watching the patch right beneath the glass window. Jesse believed it was dead, Hanzo was convinced that they just needed the right moonphase for it to bloom. Jesse remembered the archer telling him that they needed a new moon, once it had fully grown, for the flower to fully bloom. Jesse remembered looking at Hanzo for hours, seeing how the demon remained hopeful, his excitement so raw and fresh it was almost childish. Jesse remembered blushing from head to toe everytime he saw Hanzo like that, but he didn't mention it. It was a gem he gets to keep to himself. One of Hanzo's sides he doesn't show anyone. Anyone but Jesse. Hence he just stayed there, watched the patch with his friend, until they both passed out. 

"Jesse?" the werewolf snapped out of his thoughts when a firmly loud voice called out his name. He then only noticed the warm streak down his cheeks and he immediately moved his hands to wipe it away. His soil stained hands smudged his cheeks. Two, firm hands gripped Jesse's shoulders and they carefully lead Jesse out of the patch and back onto smooth cement. Ivory soft hands replaced Jesse's and they, instead, cleaned Jesse's tear and soil-stained cheeks. 

"'m sorry, 'm real sorry Han, I wasn't thinkin'," he sobbed. He heard the other sigh and Hanzo slowly closed the space between them. He wrapped his arms around Jesse and he shook his head.

"At least you fell on soft soil. You would've broken your other arm if you fell on cement," Hanzo mumbled quietly and Jesse only let himself cry. He destroyed what Hanzo's been working on for weeks on end, what Hanzo's been anticipating for in so long. He destroyed Hanzo's passion because Jesse didn't have a clue of  _when_ to leave people alone.

"Quiet now, it's okay. I can replant it and you can help me," he heard the demon mumble softly and Jesse paused at the feel of warm lips pecking the curve of his jaw. It felt odd, with Hanzo comforting him in a tight hug since the demon was in his sealed state. And yet it had never felt so right. Jesse let out a whine as he felt his tears stop and he leaned his head closer to where he suspects Hanzo's lips had gone. And he felt it again, this time with the accompany of two hands cupping Jesse's cheeks and tilting his head down just enough for Hanzo to land the next kiss on the werewolf's brow. And another, now on the bridge of his nose. Both their hearts were beating loudly, Jesse can hear it. He was sure Hanzo could, as well.

"'m sorry, Han," Jesse said again, his voice barely above a whisper. Hanzo shook his head before planting a kiss on the corner of his lips.

"Don't be." Jesse was the one who sealed their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa they kiss


	7. Worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they bang
> 
> thats all you need to know

It's been a week since Jesse and he have finally... confessed with each other. It was a great relief for him, really, and Hanzo was certain Jesse felt the same relief. But despite the kisses they shared in the greenhouse and the hours they spent in silence, with each other's companies and arms, there was an ebbing thought in the back of his mind. Hanzo was still paranoid. What if Jesse misunderstood his feelings? What if he misunderstood Jesse's? What if Jesse thought this was just another step in their  _friendship_?

_That's stupid. Very stupid. He- he reciprocated. And that's it._

Still, Hanzo felt very uncertain on where their bond stands. Sure, they both admitted to their feelings but do they remain friends or move on to something more? Or are they in the middle? How should he even act around Jesse anymore? Maybe confessing really wasn't a good idea, no matter how promising it seemed at the time. Ever since that day, they both continued with their daily lives similarly to how they usually do - save for the small, shy kisses Jesse would often give. Hanzo despised his ability to overthink every situation and panic over it especially when the situation doesn't need it. It was only going to ruin what he currently has with Jesse.

"Earth to  _anija_!" Genji repeated the fifth time under ten minutes, a hand waving in front of Hanzo's face in frustration. "I think we lost him. Lucio, call our reinforcements!" Genji declared after a resigned sigh and Lucio let out a defiant huff. The three of them are currently sitting at one of the tables in the lunch room. At such a late hour, there weren't any people around to interfere with their... late snacking. It was mostly for Lucio and Genji, the pair only decided to drag Hanzo out of his room to have him cook. Of course, Genji promised Hanzo a week of silence. Hanzo would think it a great idea the moment the offer was presented until he regrets it, realising his peace of mind is such a small price to pay for  _precious_ sleep. The trials are coming soon and Hanzo is barely getting any shuteye ever since. His goal is to pass out in O'Deorain's test and get her to screech loud enough to get him going for the rest of the day. But he will sleep if he has the time. 

"I ain't getting your brother's boyfriend, I'm still hungry," Lucio said as he eats the rest of his taiyaki and Genji hummed in thought.

"Good point," the younger demon nodded in agreement before he, too, decided to continue eating. Hanzo bit back a groan and decided to just stare down at his empty plate of food. He finished eating ages ago and lost his appetite since his paranoia crashed against him.

* * *

"I can't believe people are such assholes, dragging  _sleeping_ people out of their room at one in the fucking midnight," Hanzo grumbled to himself as he walked back to his quarters. His hair was a tousled mess from all the times he ran his hand through it. He decided he'll grow out his hair from now on since Hanzo was getting tired of keeping it its usual, tidy style. And he also wanted to avoid any more people mistaking him from his brother. 

_Maybe Jesse actually liked your brother but since he's already taken, he decided you looked close enough and -_

_Ridiculous! Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous! What is wrong with me today?_

Hanzo let out a long groan, tipping his head back and closing his eyes and let his feet carry him to his destination. However, he straightened his posture after finally noticing the distinct scent of sage and bourbon and Hanzo had to do a double take. He quickened his pace and the sight of his dorm room appeared in his vision and as he expected, he found Jesse pacing in front of it. The werewolf was sweating, arms bracing himself and his pace was hurried. Hanzo was several feet away when the distracted werewolf finally seemed to notice his approach. Hazel eyes widened in relief the moment they landed on the archer and Hanzo felt  _warm._ Still, the worry now replaced his anxiety and now, he's jogging towards Jesse and the other met him halfway.

They didn't need to say anything. This was just another one of the countless nights Jesse knocked on his door, sweating and cowering. Usually, Jesse would tower over him, not just in height for when Hanzo decides to seal his form, but in presence as well. Jesse was a magnet of attention, from his charisma to his open friendliness, to his good sense of humor and the likable company. Jesse was easy to approach. And Hanzo understood when Jesse would just need comfort, the reassurance that he is still real and is existing. And as Hanzo unlocked his door, he let Jesse cling on his back with a faint whimper. He could take the sudden weight, and he felt Jesse practically melt on his back the moment they made contact and Hanzo had to drag both him and Jesse past the door. Jesse kicked the door closed for him while Hanzo moved themselves to the bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hanzo asked, his lips ghosting over Jesse's right wrist when he brought it closer to him. Jesse's arms tightened around him when he felt the werewolf's head shake his head. "I understand. Sit, I will quickly find you a change of clothes and return soon." Hanzo said as he let Jesse slide on his bed but as the demon pulled away, two strong arms were back around his torso and before he could protest, he was lying on the bed, engulfed in Jesse's arms. Hanzo sighed in defeat as he, too, relaxed in the hold and he, too, wrapped an arm around Jesse's waist. He felt the other's head rest on top of his and decided it was a wise decision to appear more human today. No horns would have gotten in the way.

"I lost you."

" _What_?"

"I lost you. In m' dream. You fell in the ocean an' I couldn't find ya. Nobody could. I think... I think you fell with someone. And I watched ya fall, an' I couldn't do anything." Jesse mumbled so quietly Hanzo had to stop breathing just so he could hear. And when Jesse finished explaining, Hanzo tilted his head upwards just enough to see the werewolf stare ahead. If he noticed the other pressed closer against him, he didn't say anything. Hanzo looked away from Jesse's face in thought and he pressed his lips tightly.

"It is just a dream. I am still here."

"I don't think I've told you yet, Han. Everything I... dream about. They're some kind of cryptic shit that eventually happens. And that's why I didn't wanna dream about ya, because none o' my dreams ain't good. And now 'm just afraid you're gon' find someone better than me and go with 'em instead." Hanzo let out a low hum and gently rolled Jesse on his back, and Hanzo laid on top of him. 

"Very unlikely. I will be here, always. For you, whenever you need or just simply want me. You may not be the best for everyone else, but I assure you, I do not need anybody else and will not anybody else lest you cease to exist." Hanzo pressed another kiss on Jesse's jaw that earned him a soft sigh. He slightly lifted himself to get a better glimpse of Jesse's face and found the werewolf's eyes are closed. But he was awake. Hanzo can feel the fingers slowly making its way up his arms. The other opened his eyes and returned Hanzo's stare. They share smiles before Hanzo leaned down to press a firm kiss and Jesse met him halfway. 

Hanzo felt stupid for worrying earlier, for not realizing that he belonged like this, engulfed in Jesse's arms and kissing him.

Jesse was the first to pull away to take a breather, and he was also the first to proceed, pressing his pair of soft, warm lips against the side of Hanzo's neck and the demon relished the attention that came with it. His hands found the top of Jesse's chest and he let himself knead the soft flesh beneath the thin material of tank top. He earned a pleased hum from Jesse and a pair of hands that gripped his waist firmly. Jesse began to graze his teeth against the ivory skin and Hanzo shivered at the warm tongue that accompanied it. Hanzo let out a curse at the painfully slow pace his partner was keeping at and he gritted his teeth. 

"Impatient, aren't ya, Han?" Jesse chuckled in amusement as he pulled away after noticing Hanzo's constant shifting. The demon's cheeks flushed and Jesse pecked at each sharp cheekbones. "Do I really have your consent though?" Hanzo let out a firm nod before pressing a soft peck against Jesse's lips that the other chased when the demon pulled back. Jesse hummed against Hanzo's lips and switched their positions, and now it was Jesse who loomed on top of the archer. Hanzo let out a heavy sigh and ran his hands through Jesse's hair and he kept his fingers there. The werewolf's hands slipped underneath Hanzo's shirt and left a trail of fire in its wake. Hanzo raised his arms when Jesse started to roll his top off his torso and helped Jesse get out of his own and they both dumped the pieces of clothing beside the bed. 

Jesse began to press hot kisses against Hanzo's skin again and occasionally used teeth, which would earn him a surprised gasp or a sharp hiss. Either way, whatever Jesse does seems to go straight to Hanzo's cock. The werewolf could feel the bulging tent constricted underneath the demon's sweatpants brushing against his chest as his kisses go further down. He slightly averted his eyes and found Hanzo staring down at him, eyes ablaze but squinted.

"If you keep that up I'm going to sleep," Hanzo said and Jesse let out a huff. 

"Don't sass me," Jesse replied before he mouthed the warm bulge and earned a throaty groan from his partner. Jesse decided it was a good sound and wanted more and started to pull down the dark grey sweatpants along with the underwear and tossed them with the other pieces of clothing they've forgotten about. The archer's cock was hard but not how Jesse would have liked it. Hanzo still needed encouraging and Jesse was eager to please. Hanzo sat himself up just as Jesse put the reddened tip in his mouth and the werewolf felt the demon's elbows buckle before the other regained himself. He resorted to sucking on the tip before he decided to put Hanzo's length further up his mouth inch by inch. Hanzo shivered at the warmth around his girth and he barely held back the urge to thrust his hips. 

The werewolf didn't miss the slight jerk of his hips however and he began to bob his head up and down the hardened length. Hanzo let out a deep, breathy moan and Jesse tried not to bite when he felt a soft foot slowly grinding against his own rejected erection. He glanced up at Hanzo and found him smiling smugly and Jesse pulled his member out of his mouth. Jesse moved to unzip his own trousers and tossed them aside with his underwear before climbing back on top of Hanzo. The demon backed up until his back was pressed against the headboard and Jesse loomed over him. Hanzo's hand gripped Jesse's own throbbing cock and gave it long, firm strokes that pulled at him in just the right ways. Hanzo earned himself a lascivious moan and a thrust into his hand. Hanzo kept pumping Jesse until his tip was leaking with precum and Hanzo spread the translucent liquid all over Jesse's girth. His hands then found Jesse's hips and Hanzo looked up at him.

"I don't have anything to help."

"Why not?"

"As I said, I was not interested in a relationship. And then you came. To say I was unprepared was an understatement," Hanzo said and Jesse let out a bright chuckle, past his panting.

"If that's the case, then I'll be fine, darlin'. In fact, I'm more worried 'bout ya than I am of me." Jesse said and Hanzo grunted. 

Hanzo parted his lips to protest but was cut off when Jesse unceremoniously lowered himself onto Hanzo's cock, his right hand guiding him. Hanzo noticed Jesse wince and he began sputtering nonsense. The demon held the werewolf firmly and helped guide him down until Hanzo's throbbing length is fully sheathed.

And Jesse was so warm. Too warm. Hanzo let out a curse under his breath while he held Jesse still, who was still trying to adjust. Hanzo squinted at him in disdain and Jesse only grinned.

"Fuck," Hanzo let out a huff when Jesse finally relaxed on his lap. He pressed his back against the headboard and watched as Jesse began to slowly rock his hips. Hanzo still kept his hold on him even if Jesse looked more capable in handling himself.

"You look experienced," Hanzo said and he earned a sharp thrust from Jesse and the demon let out a shaky moan. 

"You're a dick, sweetheart," Jesse replied. The demon murmured an apology before the werewolf picked up his pace. Hanzo began to lean his torso closer towards Jesse and his arms replaced his hands around Jesse's waist. He can feel sweat forming on his back. Hanzo licked circles on the nape of Jesse's neck as he began to thrust up to meet Jesse's hips. 

They fell into a moaning, tangled set of limbs, rocking and humping like a pair of animals. One of Hanzo's hands moved between them to grip Jesse's cock and began to pump it in time with his thrusts. Jesse cried out his name and Hanzo looked up at him, finding the beautiful set of amber eyes bright and dilated with lust. They met in a messy, heated kiss while Jesse reached his peak.

"Han, darling- I-" Jesse was cut off once more when he came in Hanzo's hand and his partner's muscles clenching around him so tightly sent Hanzo over the edge. He came right after Jesse, bucking his hips and growling, as their world fell into a haze of stars. Once Hanzo came down from the high, he let out a long breath and pressed a long, languid kiss on Jesse's lips before pulling out. Every single muscle was beginning to protest, especially Jesse's, and Hanzo very gently helped him lay down. 

"Thank you, sweetheart," Jesse grunted once he's settled on the soft mattress. The werewolf reached up to cup Hanzo's face and guided him down to press a soft peck on his lips. "Let's sleep."

That night, they both slept in each other's arms and content.


	8. Contentment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo may not be Jesse's other half, but he's the one currently in Jesse's side and that was enough. After all, the werewolf was more than he deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst? angst.
> 
> this took long, but i've been hella occupied with stuff. it's shorter than what i would've preferred but it's better than dragging it out. enjoy, tho!

Hanzo leaned against Jesse's side, head laid on the other man's shoulder while Hanzo cradled Jesse's prosthetic arm in both of his. His dark eyes ran over the shiny, white steel induced with golden sand magic. each piece of the prosthetic was held together by the said magic, evidently visible from where the joints of his fingers and wrists would have been. It glowed dimly every now and then, as if a dying light barely able to hold on. He eyed it in fascination, wondered who had gifted Jesse such a sacred magic. Had it been a previous accomplice? An important person? Someone who owed a favor to Jesse? In a way, Hanzo's guesses were all correct. 

He was brought back to the reality by the wind whistling softly through the windows and he remembered they were sitting quietly on the white bench, back at the greenhouse. It was a harsh summer and the breezy atmosphere of the greenhouse was somehow their way to relieve each other from the scorching heat of Gibraltar summer. He sighed softly to himself, removed his head from Jesse's shoulder but still remained by his side.

"If you don't mind me asking," Hanzo interrupted the peaceful silence as his fingers trace the smooth surface of the prosthetic. He heard Jesse turn his head to look down at his arm as well and Hanzo felt the comfortable quiet shift into something stuffy. A churning feeling in his gut insisted that he drop the topic, for the sake of both their peace of mind. However, he wouldn't be Hanzo if he wasn't stubborn.

"Where did you get your arm?" he asked and he heard Jesse's breath hitch for a full second. It felt like an eternity. Hanzo looked up at him in worry and immediately tried to dismiss the topic. He saw Jesse's eyes quickly replace contentment with dread and fear, and Hanzo reassured him through the guilt he felt.

"Nevermind. You don't have to answer. I apologise for asking," Hanzo murmured quietly, pressing his head back to Jesse's shoulder and sighing when his lover didn't seem to reply. He swallowed a lump in his throat and closed his eyes, cursing his stupid mouth for not evaluating his words thoroughly before speaking them. But the damage has been done. Jesse now sat stiffly beside him, so stiff Hanzo was afraid he would bolt at any sudden noise. Guilt welled in his stomach for possibly bringing up memories for Jesse. 

"I'm sorry, Jesse, I shouldn't have-"

"A... a friend. A friend gave it to me." Imagine his surprise when he was cut off with an actual answer. He sat up straight, fumbled over his words before Jesse cut him off again. "Well... friend ain't really the right word. She was- she was my "soulmate", to put it in simpler terms. But she gave it to me. She needed to, else I'll die 'cause of fuckin' blood loss. All this was just sand, at the first place, but Ana was the one who helped improve it. It's what I know from what she told me, 'nyway. She said I was passed out for days. When I woke up, Ana told me she was gone. Caught by who we were runnin' 'way from in the first place." Jesse paused with a sigh and Hanzo remained still and quiet. A few seconds of heavy, thick silence passed before the werewolf continued.

"'Course, I looked for her, but never really got any leads. She just, disappeared. Without a trace. Which is ironic, by the way, because she was technically sandwoman," Jesse's laugh was a hollow sound; empty and void. Hanzo's chest clenched even tighter at the sound. "Eventually, Ana convinced me to give up. Somehow. Never really got over it, never really heard of her again, never really stopped regretting listening to Ana. I just, tell myself everyday that if I continued looking, maybe if I just pushed a little more, I woulda' found her. N' she'd be safe n' sound. But I know she's alive. Her magic's still in m' arm, else all the porcelain shit woulda' just fallen off an' I'll be broken again. But it's all dim. Like, she's barely clingin' on, and I always gotta live with the fact that I never tried hard enough - for her. N' now, she's sufferin' because I was weak. But I don't- I don't-" Jesse trailed off as the words died on his throat. Hanzo looked up at the slowly darkening afternoon sky. Strange. It was the middle of summer. 

He spared a brief glance to his own left arm, hidden in the sleeves of his white shirt. Despite the sun finally halting its furious glare, Hanzo felt himself nearly suffocate. But he held it in, took a slow, silent breath in, and released it through his nose. None of them dared look at each other - both their feelings were currently fragile, Hanzo would die before he hurt Jesse. But in a way, he already had, and he supposed this revelation was his punishment.

The revelation that Jesse will not always be his. That when Jesse's partner had finally returned, he will have to give up the bond he had worked so hard for to attain. But he couldn't let himself stand in the way of what would eventually fix Jesse's missing, broken half. And if regent was what Hanzo was, then, he supposed, he's satisfied.

He wanted to let out a bitter laugh, but it all got choked down his throat.

He looked down at the garden floor, eyes wide and blank. He didn't really know what to say.

He tangled his fingers with Jesse and squeezed, the cold touch of porcelain sending a shiver down his spine. He wasn't surprised when he doesn't feel a squeeze in return.

He took a deep breath, patted the back of Jesse's hand that he was gripping, before standing up.

"Excuse me." He needed space to think. Right now, the greenhouse was nowhere near being a provider of comfort. It reminded him too much, too much of what he had taken advantage of - Of Jesse's instability - that he somehow managed to convince the other that he liked Hanzo. Unknowingly. He needed time to think. and there was a lot to think about. He eventually released Jesse's hand and made a swift exit of the greenhouse.

_Damn that question. Damn his stupid mouth. Damn his unsatiated curiosity. Damn it all._

No one found Hanzo for the next three days.

* * *

 

"You cannot hide here forever," Satya said with a sigh as she relaxed further into the cushions of the chaise lounge chair. She was sitting on it, with her legs resting on top while Hanzo laid between them. His back was pressed against her torso, head tucked under Satya's chin. Dark eyes stared at the high, ornate ceiling decorated with faces of Devis and lotuses and skulls, blankly; absently. Olivia sat on the other chair across them, laying on it on her side, an evident pout on her face. 

"I swear, you mother him more than you pamper me," Olivia whined and groaned when Satya flashed her a quick glare. Satya sighed and looked back down at the top of Hanzo's head, stroking the silky locks that now reached the demon's shoulders.

"Your brother will eventually narrow down the possible hiding places you would be. And there's not very many of them."

"I will return to Hanamura if I must, finish my business there, and stay there for as long as I could. I cannot return to the academy, not yet." Satya rolled her eyes.

"You worked so hard for you and your brother, to be able to leave Hanamura, for this, and now you will simply go back? For what?" Hanzo let out a flare of frustration through his nose as his eyebrows ever slightly twitched. He found his gaze shifting to his left arm and he ran a hand through it, even from over the fabric of his shirt. the sky was still dark outside and he let out a grunt. 

"The dragons claimed him, Satya. Declared him their mate, and I cannot undo it. Even with them now knowing the truth, they still refuse to burn the bond."

"As stubborn as their host, it seems," Olivia grumbled as she rolled on her back and clasped her hands over her stomach. Hanzo let out an empty chuckle before sighing and sitting up. 

"Perhaps distance will be the best solution, after all. If I strain the bond enough, at least we will be used to the isolation once the bond had been forcibly cut off," Hanzo let out a loud sigh and Satya now turned her glare towards him. She tucked her legs under her lap and let Hanzo sit properly and watches, still with a glare, as he moves to tie his hair back up. 

"You are here now, not the werewolf's "soulmate". You are here for him now, you are the one loving him now, the one supporting him  _now._ Could you really bear leaving him at a time like  _this_? Knowing what he suffers through? He makes you happy, Hanzo. Even if it is just temporary, he makes you whole. I've never seen you smile as much as you did when you are with Jesse, I have never seen you so  _content_." Satya said quietly, but it was so silent in the temple Satya might have been exclaiming. "You may not be meant for him, but would you really give up this bond that gives you peace of mind, and instead wallow in your self-hatred in an empty, hollow castle?"

* * *

 

Hanzo was certain, this was his punishment. He never really should have pursued this. Not only did he not deserve Jesse, but it hurt. It hurt that it was rubbed in his face in so many ways. He felt so weary, tired,  _drained._ He never caught a blink of sleep during the last three, now four days he had ran away from Jesse. Again. Perhaps it really was his fault he wasn't meant for the sweet werewolf he was hopelessly smitten with. He kept running and running, refusing to stay in place, all because Hanzo could not  _move on -_ could not accept the fact that he was finally  _free_ ; that he need not escape his present as well. It would hurt Jesse, so much, if Hanzo just kept running away from him, and maybe that's why he wasn't meant for Hanzo. 

Maybe. 

Just maybe.

But he swore to Satya - he  _promised_ \- that he would run no longer. He will stay, with Jesse, until his partner returns and Hanzo was no longer needed. After all, what Satya said was true. He loved Jesse, so  _bad_.  And he was sure Jesse also felt the same, but only to an extent. After all, it was never meant to be. But just because it couldn't happen doesn't mean they wouldn't try. And oh, how hard Hanzo tries, now that he knew his time with Jesse was limited.

And he promised to himself, as a form of closure, that once it was over, he will find peace with his feelings in Hanamura, and possibly stay there for all his immortal years.

"Han?" He broke his stare from the sleeping form on his bed and to the eyes of its owner, slowly widening in recognition. Jesse's sleep quickly worn off when he realised Hanzo was back, and sitting at his desk, watching him sleep. The shifter immediately let out a sharp gasp of relief as he sat up and got off the bed before Hanzo could bat an eye. He was on Hanzo's lap in no time and Hanzo felt the strong arms wrap tightly around his shoulders.

"Shit, Han, you got me worried again. Everyone was, 'specially Genji. He was scared, him n' me. You can't just run off like that, sweetheart," Hanzo forced the painful sob down his throat and he took a deep breath to compose himself. He returned the embrace, just as tight, as Jesse moved his head to glance down at him. "Was it 'cause of what I said? At the rooftop? Han, I-" Hanzo shook his head fiercely. He leaned back slightly to tilt his head up just enough to watch Jesse.

"No, it's not that. I- I am fine with it. It's okay. I will stay with you until- until-"

"Hanzo, darlin'-"

"But it was not that. I only needed... time to process it all. But I am here now. And I will remain here, until I cannot. Until then, I will love you, unconditionally, and hopelessly," Hanzo murmured silently, dark eyes staring directly at Jesse's wide, baffled ones. Jesse felt an overwhelming surge of frustration in his chest and he stammered to explain- to make Hanzo listen and understand what the  _fuck_ he was trying to say. But Hanzo only cuts him off, until Jesse eventually gives up.

"Han, you  _idiot_ , I don't-"

"Jesse."

"Hanzo, just  _fucking listen! I don't-"_

_"Jesse."_

_"Han! Stop! It ain't fair-"_

_" **Jesse.** "_

The werewolf only sighed in defeat, ears deflating and teeth curling up in a snarl as he placed his chin on Hanzo's shoulder. He closed his eyes, damning the Weaver of Fates for completely fucking up his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hereby declare i multiship mccree with various people, no thanks to the new animatic
> 
> beta-ed by critocrisisM
> 
> do point out any mistakes that you see and i will tweak it


	9. Azalea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They find the solitude they never knew they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> major hanzo headcanon:
> 
> hes a great artist

Empty. Desolate. Cold. 

_Peaceful._

It was all the silence Hanzo could ever ask for. There weren't any muffled, or everyday noises left to fade into white noise. Just complete silence. At first, he wasn't sure if he should be scared or relieved, after finding out that everyone would be leaving for the holidays. But after spending a day without anyone else making a sound outside his room or wherever he went, he decided he didn't mind it. The only sounds he could hear every day and night were the sounds of the water from the high cliff crashing against rocks. Occasionally there would be birds, but that was it. It reminded him all too well of his old winter vacation home back in Hanamura, which was placed deep in the mountains. It was his only place of solitude at the time, a sanctuary for him to get away from the main castle and its usual... distastefulness. He found he still missed it sometimes, even now. The empty halls of the academy were nothing compared to the quiet of the secluded home, but it was still welcome. More than welcome, actually, and he was grateful for it. 

This was what he needed, especially after all the stress from all his classes and the recent fiasco with where he stood in Jesse's life. This quiet gave him space to think, to clear his mind, to find his peace through all the turmoil. And what better way to celebrate it than holing up in his usual safehouse, the greenhouse, with his painting materials?

And currently, he is seated on a tall stool in front of an easel, a large canvas in front of him, already half-finished. Behind the easel hung a basket of red azaleas he had adjusted specifically for his convenience. It was already evening, with the beautiful blue sky now blending with hues of violet, green and orange, and it was a tremendous sight, one that he would willingly paint if he hadn't run out of paint of a few colours, two of which he needed. He set the palette on the table he dragged up here for his benefit to grab the bottle of red paint, already squeezed empty. Despite the small cuts and holes on the metal tube paint, no amount of pigment still came out. He also tried it on the yellow tube. Also empty. He let out a furious growl through his clenched teeth as he crushed the tube in his hand and slammed it on the table. He sighed and slowly, his anger evaporated.

"What you got there, darlin'?" Hanzo felt his soul (hyperbole, don't think about it) leave his body at the sudden voice and pair of arms now engulfing him quite firmly and Hanzo let out a ragged gasp once he had recovered his full consciousness.

"Jesus, didn't think I'd scare ya that bad. My bad, sweetheart," soft lips along with a scruffy beard touched his cheek and Hanzo was still trying to grab hold of the situation.

" _Jesse,_ " Hanzo hissed as he gripped the arms still wrapped around him. He shifted his torso to be able to face his partner without breaking his neck and found the werewolf's eat-shitting grin directed towards him. The archer wiped it off his face with his hand. 

"What are you doing here, still? Aren't you going to celebrate the holidays?" Hanzo asked as Jesse adjusted his height just enough to be able to place his chin on top of Hanzo's head. 

"Well, aren't ya goin' to?"

"I don't celebrate it."

"Then where's Genji?"

"He went with Lucio. I think they went for a vacation in Brazil and left me nearly broke," Hanzo replied, shifting his torso again so he could look back at his canvas, and noticed Jesse was looking at it as well. He then remembered nobody knew this side of him, except Genji and Satya, and he suddenly felt uncomfortable with Jesse suddenly assessing his work. He fidgeted on his seat quietly, and suddenly the silence he celebrated became too much and he was nearly panicking. Unexpectedly, he heard Jesse release a long, quiet sigh before he felt his lips on his cheek again.

"I'm upset you never told me 'bout this, but gosh darn are you good," the brunet mumbled sweetly against Hanzo's face and the demon quickly felt his face flush up in embarrassment. He decided to force his way out of Jesse's grasp by standing up hurriedly and moving to tie his hair back in its now, usual top knot. 

"Well, I am out of paint and I need to buy some," Hanzo said as he picked up the blue mantle on the table and moved to cover his work with it while making sure the fabric didn't touch the white paint. "Do you want to come?" He asked as he looked back at Jesse and found the werewolf grinning stupidly at him, with the most lovestruck look anyone could possibly muster and Hanzo felt his cheeks warming up again. He let out an incoherent as Jesse continued to stare and the archer grabbed his jacket from the same table and slipped it on. He heard Jesse rush after him once he made his way to the door leading out of the greenhouse.

"I love you, darlin'," Jesse murmured against his ear once they're climbing down the spiraling stair and Hanzo couldn't stop his scoff.

"No, you don't," he responded, mostly to humour Jesse, but still couldn't help the pang in his chest. He heard the brunet let out a whine and felt strong arms wrap around his waist once more. They both found it difficult to climb down from a narrow, spiraling staircase while tangled in each other's limbs. Still, the light atmosphere was there and they both felt giddy. Once at a more level floor, Hanzo actually allowed his arm to latch around Jesse's hips as well.

"You still haven't answered my question, by the way." The archer mentioned and he looked up to find Jesse staring again, with that awfully warm look in his eyes that Hanzo couldn't help but love. It doesn't falter either once Jesse regards his statement.

"On why I ain't off an' celebrating Thanksgiving an' Christmas?" 

"Yes."

"Well, mostly because I have no one to celebrate it with. Everyone's off with their own partners or families, and if I do try to celebrate it elsewhere, I'll probably end up shit faced and passed out in a pig pen," Jesse replied and Hanzo hinted at the genuine tone and couldn't help but wonder if it has actually happened before. He let out a snort at the thought.

"And, since ya also don't celebrate it  _and_ don't have anyone to celebrate it with, I decided why not just stay with ya? I mean, if others are with their partners, why can't I be with mine? 'Don't want ya gettin' lonely up here, you know." Jesse smiled down at him, softly, and the archer melted. Still, he didn't feel right knowing it was him that kept Jesse away from celebrating a proper holiday. 

"What about Ana? This parent figure you kept talking about?" Hanzo asked as he focused on getting them out of the campus before it gets too dark.

"Nah, she's too busy at the moment. She woulda' invited me, otherwise. What, you don't want me here?" The brunet jokingly taps Hanzo's hip and earned a startled yelp that almost missed his ears if it wasn't so quiet in the hallways. 

"No, it's not that! I-"

"I think I know where this is goin'," All of a sudden, Jesse's voice was low and somber. They both stopped walking, arms carefully and slowly slipping off of each other. Hanzo let out a distressed sigh, parting his lips to apologise, only to get cut off once again.

"Look, sweetheart, I know you've been bothered by that conversation weeks ago and you're absolutely right to be. Not because whatever I think is running in your mind is absolutely right, but because I've made you doubt yourself, and I'm so fucking sorry for that, truly," Jesse's voice was resigned, soft and vulnerable, as Jesse pulled away from Hanzo to grab his shoulders and force the other to face him. "But I assure you, oh, I do, that you've got nothin' to worry 'bout. Sure, we're "soulmates" or however you want to put that shit, but sometimes it ain't always meant to be. Sure, I still miss her an' I still feel bad, but because she was a good friend and I left her, helpless. But I don't miss her  _like_ that. So don't worry your pretty little face, because right now, there's you and only you, and boy, am I blessed to have you, you miserable bastard." Jesse's hands moved to cup Hanzo's face as he spoke and began to pepper the archer's face with butterfly kisses, each followed by a whispered 'i love you'. 

"I don't deserve you," Hanzo whispered weakly in return, cheeks and ears flushing red from the sudden affection and he moved his hands to Jesse's neck to hold him there. Once Jesse's certain Hanzo's gotten his point, he pulled away with the brightest of smiles.

"I love you too. Now, let's go get your paint and do some shopping while we're at it. We should do a small feast for us two."

Later that night, as Hanzo finished his piece, with only a lamp being his source of light, he remembered his lover's reassuring words and small kisses and as he slowly accepted all of it into his being, he felt himself nearly cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet have this
> 
> there might be a part two of this, but written in jesse's perspective. i dont celebrate the holidays very passionately so i had no idea how the hell to make this but enjoy anyway


End file.
